Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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