i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
