wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize