So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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