Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
