I don't remember. Are we still dating?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
