She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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