Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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