We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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