This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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