I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
