We're facebook friends in real life
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
