I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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