To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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