Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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