Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize