no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
