im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
