I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
