At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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