just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
