so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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