whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
