that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize