He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize