My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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