It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
