One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
