Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
