Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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