Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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