I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
