I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
you made out with another girl for some wings
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
