There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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