We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
