pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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