Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize