one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
