you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
