Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize