My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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