I don't think brook has ever known best
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
