I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize