i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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