Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's rum buckets o'clock
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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