I want to walk on stilts...naked
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
