oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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