I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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