I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
