I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
