I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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