And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
