she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
