atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Pooping to opera.
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