i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Randomize
