Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize