Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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