I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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