Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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