Do vagina's smell?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
