did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
