Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
