Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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