Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
