I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
