please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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