she smelled like a LAN party
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
