He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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