Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
