we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
