haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
