i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
